Throughout
our lifetime we have become very good "responders." The words
we utter can be so powerful, we can surprise ourselves. Sometimes
we're not even sure where a thought or idea came from -- it seemed
to materialize spontaneously. In some circumstances, such
talent can do us some good. In other circumstances,
such as in close and intimate interpersonal relationships,
it gets a little trickier. Things can backfire and we scratch
our head as our words seemed to have inflicted pain, or complicated
matters.
When we experience this with our child, a wonderful
opportunity arises -- letting go. It is ironic that in one of
our most loving of relationships, we can lose ourselves in automatic
"responding" that can hurt our child's feelings, or at best limit
our capacity to make our child feel fulfilled and capable. Almost
all of this is the product of an unmindful state. Through the
practice of mindful parenting, we can surmount this stubborn
obstacle.
Today, when you are interacting with your child,
do not respond the moment you feel the need to speak arise in you.
Whether your child is asking you a question or you are observing your
child doing something to which you feel the need to interject words
of wisdom or caution, open that moment to mindful awareness.
It need only take a few seconds. Let the few seconds be noticeable. In that space of time, recite the following verse to yourself.
I have something to say
Breathing deeply
Let me speak the truth
In the space of those few seconds, allow
impulsive, conditioned thought to dissipate. You may even recognize
the impulse for what it is. Then, when you speak, do so from
the silence, and speak words of truth.
